[Cross-posted on other blog.]
Elsa P.’s blog on the Saturn-Uranus opposition and boundary issues prompted me to post a comment there, and to address the blast from the past I’d previously repressed.
This is what I wrote:
Very insightful as usual, Elsa! Thank you!
Funnily enough I have my IC/MC on the axis of 19+ Pisces/Virgo, and last week I just told two people off about crossing boundaries. Much like you I didn’t say anything too nasty the first time, and ‘got a bat’ out the second, and they acted so surprised. The conversation went down with one of them something like this:
A [them]: I am coming over next week. Can I stay over?
B [me]: I don’t think that’s a good idea.
A: I thought we cleared the air the last time.
B: And I said ‘no’ the last time, too.
A: But I thought we had resolved our difficulties.
B: Yes, by agreeing it won’t happen again. I thought I was straightforward enough.
A: That’s just it. You’re not straightforward at all. I don’t know what you mean.
B: How many different things can ‘no’ mean?
A: I don’t understand. Why is staying over not a good idea?
B [before letting rip with bat]: Because it’s my flat and I get to pick my guests!
A [after I let rip]: Wow. What anger!
I gave up after that and just put a block on my email.
Mercury retrograde can cough up people, and more importantly, issues, from the past like muck in a clogged sink that will keep belching to the surface until you actually clean it out (rather than simply stuff it back in). The form, if not the actual content, of the dialogue above actually happened twice in the same day with two different people from my past, people with whom I’d assumed past issues were over and done with and could maintain some semblance of contact with.
I’m bad with amputations, especially unpleasant ones. But I’m learning that sometimes they are necessary — the amputations that is, not the unpleasantness. There is a difference between not giving up on people, and giving up yourself for others’ abuse because you think you don’t want to give up on them, and passive-aggression, of the sort above, is abuse. Perpetually stuffing someone in a role and a position s/he clearly doesn’t want to play, and wilfully misunderstanding them, is abuse. Making slight work of boundaries despite others’ protestations is abuse. If only of the other’s space, time and energy.
Mercury retrograding in Aquarius doesn’t ‘make’ this stuff happen. It just provides the energy impulses where one is more able to take note of and act on them. In this case energy impulses to do with reflective, past communication. That two similar instances seemed to happen out of the blue within hours of each other simply reinforced my sense that closure was ultimately necessary. A sense that was intensified by the moodiness of the Full Moon in Cancer. Genevieve Salerno on the Planet Waves blog writes:
The signature of this Full Moon seems to intensify feelings over what we feel and what is practical: Cancer versus Capricorn. The Full Moon always activates the polarity of two signs, presenting us with an opportunity to resolve or work with an inner polarity.
Retrograding Mercury in Aquarius, as a reminder to connect the inner self with the outer world, is calling attention to how porous the divide between the two can be. The task, I think, is not to rigidify that boundary, nor to dissolve it completely, but on how to walk the dotted line.
Image: Picket fence with nasturtium. Source: Wikimedia Commons.